A bad day or political resistance?

What constitutes a bad day for you? Perhaps it is not being productive. Perhaps it is not doing your usual workout. Perhaps it is eating bad. We all have different components of what a bad day can be. It can feel in lockdown that the bad days are appearing more common than usual. There is nothing to look forward to, you are closer to the fridge and you don't have motivation to work out. You feel you are constantly scrolling down social media and looking at everyone being so productive whilst you are on your 2nd ice cream tub of the day. 

Why do we feel so guilty about having a self-care day? Self-care is essential for us to recuperate and it is a natural reaction by our body in stressful times like this. Today I am having a bad day. I woke up after a 10 hour sleep and always try and find a reason for my bad day. Usually I resort to lack of sleep but I cannot do that today. I have just merely accepted that I am having a bad day. I have cried. I have sat down in the shower. And I feel slightly better. But I'm learning to just accept what I'm feeling rather than fight it. To accept that I want to lie in bed all day and binge watch Riverdale on Netflix. And that is okay. 

In my day in bed, I have been reflecting on this concept of self-care. It is something more than binge watching netflix all day and it is rather political. We can have as many bubble baths as we want but if society around us is oppressive, we are not going to feel truly self-cared. Self-care is political. It is in the community around us. We care for ourselves but we also have to self-care for our community and fight for the vulnerable and oppressive voices. It can be an act of resistance for a woman who is bombarded with the trope that they have to be the primary caregiver. They have to be constantly busy making dinner, taking care of the children and self-care is not even considered as necessary. 

As a woman, by reclaiming my own self-care and relaxing, I feel a sense of empowerment in a bad day. I am resisting the patriarchy that has opposed this rule on myself that I don't deserve a break. I don't work as hard as men who are traditionally in laborious and active jobs. I don't deserve to rest. Yet I do. Everyone does. This idea has took vitality from the book, 'A burst of light', by Audre Lorde, where she stated: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare." Communal self-care can help communities in times of racism, division and loneliness. A bad day, therefore, is not such a bad day. It is an act of resistance, of recuperating your energy to find more energy to raise your voice and fight for issues that you care about. 

A bad day and having some self-care time is not a bad thing. It is a good thing. It is doing exactly the opposite of what the patriarchy has imposed on us about toxic productivity. Of being so productive that we burn ourselves and lose passion to resist the men that impose impossible expectations on us.